So sad, so good

Two excellent books for the reading:

Tuesdays with Morrie

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Both are written by Mitch Albom. I have been recommending them to people by telling them how much I cried. Turns out not everybody rates the quality of a book by how big their used tissue pile is at the end. So I will tell you that they have other redeeming qualities beside the fact that they are sad. Actually, Tuesdays with Morrie isn't very sad until the end. And then you are expecting it, so it's not so bad.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven was amazing. I had assumed that it was some crazy religious book like "Chicken Soup for the Afterlife", but not at all. It was so cool. I love different concepts of heaven. This had the feel of The Lovely Bones (also great), where heaven is different to different people. The five people who wait to talk to you when you first get to heaven may be people you know, or complete strangers, but they have all changed your life or been changed by it. The story follows Eddie who reminds me so much of my dad it hurts. That's probably why I cried so much. It starts with Eddie dying, and shows who he meets in heaven and what he learns about his life. I guess the theme would be something about how we are all connected. I dunno, I haven't written a book report in 10 years and for those I used Cliffsnotes.

Everyone should read this book. It's short, it's good, and I cried. I give it 2 tissues up.

May the force be with me

My cat is sick today. I'm still really worried, so I'm not going to write about that except to use it as an explanation for today's ensemble.

Fussing over my kitten this morning didn't give me a lot of time to get ready, so I skipped the make-up, pulled my hair back into a low pony-tail, and threw a huge brown tie-at-the-waist sweater over my khakis and left for work.

It wasn't until I looked in the mirror in the office bathroom that I realized:

I have just created 'Dress like your favorite Jedi' day.

And I'm the only one participating.

I'm Religious, Not Retarded

When I was in high school, all of the popular kids were extremely religious. They would march around flaunting Jesus as their best friend and thumb their noses at anyone who they believed didn't believe the right way. It never bothered me to be told that belonging to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints meant I wasn't a Christian. I knew what I believed.

I don't know if this has happened in Baptist Texas too, but everywhere else I have been since high school, there seem to be a lot of people growing out of their religions. People who grew up and realized that they didn't believe what their parents had taught them. People who had gained their own insight into the world and broke away from their religious family foundations. If you don't believe in something, it can only be harmful to fake it. If you don't feel the same thing religious people seem to feel, why torture yourself? To the people who have struggled to be so honest with themselves, I say more power to you. The same way I would have congratulated any of the student council members back in good ol' McKinney when they shouted their testimonies from the rooftops. If you are happy, that's great!

Now I am running into the same discrimination that I was in high school, but coming from the other side. Instead of being asked what it is like to know that I'm going to hell for being Mormon, I'm being asked how I can believe in something so childish and obviously wrong. God was made up by people to make themselves feel better. Aren't you smart enough to figure that out?

I have a simple theory about why ex-religious people feel this way. It's called growing up. Some people believe in God, some people don't. Those with a religious background, who no longer believe or never really did, look back and say, "I was so childish." But you know what? So do the one's who are still religious. I don't believe in the same God my parents taught me about when I was little. My mom and dad introduced me to religion, but when life changed and they couldn't believe the way they had, they made me feel as though I were developmentally behind. At 18 I hadn't "figured out" what they had at 50. Why did it insult them that I still believed? I think it is because they, like most people, are ashamed of their pasts and need something to blame it on. But my beliefs haven't been frozen since the age of eight. I developed and learned and grew just as much as everyone else, and in my own direction just like everyone else. I don't understand why ex-religious people need to look down on the religious ones as if they haven't caught on to the joke yet. Like they must be simpletons for falling for the lie their preacher told them.

Many of my non-religious friends also seem to think that I lack an understanding of the world just because I choose to live differently than they. They think I don't understand sex drive of all things. If they could go back to 17 and say no to every guy they ever make-out with until they are a 25 year old virgin, then they could talk to me about sex drive. I'm not a freaking robot, I'm just Mormon! But really, do you think my life is so inferior to yours because I don't experience some of the things you do? Nobody can live the same life as anyone else. Mine suits me.

And if my friends or family ever think I am judging them or looking down on them, then I am mortified. I love them. They are amazing! Choices that I make are mine. I don't hold anyone else to them. There are a million ways to be a good person. This is the way that works for me. And on the scale of good people, I don't picture myself above any of my friends, religious or non.

That's all really. I didn't want this to sound like a rant. I just want people to know that I am not a misled child. I have made conscious choices based on my experiences and feelings. I just can't understand how that can make me so inferior to those who have done the same, but come to a different conclusion.

I live in the attic, yay!

All settled in Utah and living in the coolest room I've ever had. There are no vertical walls. Perfect for someone who never actually hangs their pictures. It is big enough for my queen bed, a dresser, a desk (converted to my own little vanity), a kitchen table with my computer on it, my TV, 3 book shelves, a laundry corner, a place for my cat things, and enough left over space for dancing and spinning in circles. The spinning could become dangerous because of the sloped walls though. Anyway, I love this room.

I have been able to hang out with family and some good friends. I still need to contact some others who I know are out here somewhere. I go the gym almost everyday with my brother. Hopefully I will have a temporary job on Monday. School starts in May.

That's about it. Life is pretty good.